What am I doing here?

My best friend has gone to China to teach conversational english for a year.
I've only just seen her but I can't help but miss her. We haven't spent a whole lot of time together in the last 5 years. Only a few days together every six months to a year.
I'm happy for her though. I hope that she finds joy in her new adventure. From the sounds of her blog, she already is.

My job for the school year has started up again. I learned that someone I used to be friends with freshman year is teaching at the elementary school I facilitate after school childcare at. It made me feel sheepish to come to the realization that I'm still in school while many of the people my own age have graduated college and moved on to their life careers. And for a short moment, it had me wondering whether I wasted my time goofing off instead of getting my career on track.

On the other hand, I quickly came to the understanding that I have had many life experiences that many others don't have because I made the choice to hold back on school for a quarter here and there so that I could do something that I would truly enjoy. Being a snowboard instructor at Mt. Baker for example. There is no way I could have gotten good grades while battling the thought that I was missing out on a good pow day. So, many times I just said to myself, "Fuck it. Take the quarter off." And you know what? I don't regret it for a minute.

Through out the last few months I have become aware of the fact I will be in school for a really REALLY long time. If I want to go forth and get a masters in Geology as well as in teaching, (after I finish my Bachelors of education in Earth science, then start teaching at a high school of coarse), I shouldn't be concerned with how long it takes for me to finish this task. I have a set goal, and I will accomplish said goal. It is the journey that I should appreciate. I want to take advantage of my youth, not to spend my time in a building all day, but to gain life experience in a diversity of activities and life accomplishments. With my time off, I have taught 9 year olds how to shred the mountain gnar, been a nanny to wonderful young children, worked terrible hours slaving away in a stock room, traveled down the coast and across the country, and learned how to shred on water.

This is more than I could have ever asked for. Thank you universe for giving me the opportunity to have such an amazing and beautiful life.

I may have hard days and a down attitude sometimes.
But I truly do love this life.

All smiles at the Y

When I got to "work" yesterday, (I call it "work" because, really, I love it too much for it to be considered a "job"), the kids were outside playing on the playground. On Wednesdays, they have early release at 1, and I have my own classes til 2 so I go in after that. Anywho, they were on the playground playing and having a grand ol time being kids.

On every other day of the week, I go in before school gets out and I set up the gym with tables and other stuff. When they get out of class, most days, they're supposed to do homework if they have it, and read if they don't have homework. This only lasts for about a half an hour, then we go outside. I swear to you, they think the first half hour is torture for them. I feel like I'm constantly telling them that it's homework and reading time every 5 minutes. The older ones are generally pretty good at being quite and doing their thing. But the younger ones, man. The kindergartners are a rough crowd. I've been working on teaching them how to read (and most of them are pretty good readers by now). But when you have 7, 5 year olds to teach how to read in a group, it's hard to keep their focus on you and not each other. Don't get me wrong, I love teaching them how to read, and everything about this job, but sometimes... sometimes it's hard.

Anyway, my point is that yesterday, when I walked onto the playground, it just put the biggest smile on my face. They were having so much, care free, fun. And then, when they finally noticed I'd gotten there, a handful of them ran up to me in excitement, and gave me a big group hug.

Moments like that make the tough times worth it.

Are you there?

I sat on my back porch a few weeks ago. As I watched the beautiful pink and orange sun set behind a small cluster of magenta clouds in the light blue sky, so many curious questions and wonder filled thoughts flowed through my mind. A woodpecker pecked away at a telephone pole, birds sang their cheerful tune.
I looked around.
I thought, "beautiful."
I realized how short our time really is here; I need to enjoy what is right in front of me more often; take a moment to just sit, take it all in and just breath.
The trees were a gorgeous bright green, shimmering with a hint of sparkle from the sun's goldenrod kiss. The bird's song warmed my heart, while the bright red hot sun warmed my face.
I wondered,
Where is he?
Can he really be gone?
Can he see me?
Does he know I'm thinking about him?
I miss him.
Does he know he's gone?
What if he isn't there?
This went on for some time.
The sun disappeared below the horizon.
The birds' song continued.
The chill of the spring evening air drove my heavy heart back inside.

That's not all that's new...

That's right folks. There's more.

New glasses
New hair

Winter turned to Spring, bringing in the time to create anew. That is what spring is all about. Transforming what was, into what will be. Spring is the thaw of winter's harsh cold; it brings warmth, new life, and new beginnings. What was once cold and lifeless, can be brought from the dead; reborn.

Hey! Guess hwhat?

I got a mac.
Not a new mac,
But one roughly 6 years old.

It isn't perfect.
It needs a new battery,
It will only stay on if it's plugged in
But that's good enough for me.

It's much better than my other computer, you see.
For it's an old dell and is slow with many problems.

But not this nice mac.
It is fast and sleek.

No more terrible work place!

Hey there.

So I have some amazingly awesome news...

I no longer work at Ross!!!! WOOOOOOOHH!

I am a nanny for a pretty cool family now. This is my first week doing it. And so far it's been fun. There is a 4  year old boy that I spend the day with Monday through Thursday. Then 3 other kids 8, 12, and 14 years old that go to school, so I only ever see them before and after school for a little while.

So I pretty much just hang out with a 4 year old boy all day long. We play games, read Dr. Sues, color in coloring books, watch Avatar: The Last Airbender, and stuff like that. Sometimes we go on little field trips to Menchies, a frozen yogurt place around the corner. And in a while I think it would be fun to go to the aquatic center and swim. There is also a park near by, so we can go play on the jungle gym :D

I am so happy that I don't have to work those ridiculous hours anymore. It feels a little strange also, to be getting paid to do something so easy. But I won't complain... I like doing this. The little boy is so darn cute.

Well, that is all.

Ta ta for now.

"We are family do do do do do do" (in a sing song singing voice)

Hokay.

So.

A lot has happened in the last four weeks that I don't particularly want to talk about at this current moment in time. But what I do want to talk about is Family.

I don't know about you guys, but I love my family. I think my family is fan-freakin-tastic. I just saw them over the holidays for the first time in longer than it should have been. And it was great to see their beautiful faces. No really. I realized when I was there, that my family is a good lookin group of people.

But for real. Of the six main grandkids, there are the "older kids" and the "younger kids". For my whole life up until now it had always been: older kids: Ror: 26; Sissy: 24; and myself: 21. And of the younger kids: Maggie, Logan, and Levi: 14, 12, and 9 respectively, and Jack: 10. But this winter we decided that Mags is now part of the older kids. Now, 14 is a lot younger than the rest of the older girls, but she's in high school now. And that means she's practically an adult. And now it's kinda separated into boys and girls.

Here are the girls:

Sissy, Mags, Ror, and myself.

I could go into this whole story about how awesome my cousins are, but I'm feeling very lazy about this so I'll just say I'm impressed and proud of them for being so darn smart and talented. And I shouldn't be surprised because I feel like my uncle is a great father and it's no wonder why they're so great, because he's great.

On a side note, I just made some fruit punch and it tastes like crap. But the orange chicken I made is delicious.

I'm fairly certain that I have the best Grandmother on the planet of the Earth. It may be because she was there in my early years. It may be because she is MY grandma, so that automatically makes her better than yours. It may be because she makes the best food anyone could ever ask for. It may be because her hugs are the swaddle of pure love.

It's all of these things and so much more. I know you will read this Gram so I'm just saying that I love you so so so so so so so so so much :)

Family means the world to me. I love them so much. And I feel privileged to have the family love that we share because I know that some people don't get that in life. And we are a little spread out; the hub in Pennsylvania, with branches in Michigan, Sissy and I in Washington, and Ror in San Fran; But that shouldn't be a reason to not see each other. It was only a few years that we went without seeing each other, but so much has changed in our lives that I never want a gap that big again. Everyone is growing up, and I don't want to miss out on that. I mean, Mags, Logan, and Jack play instruments, they all play sports, Mags is thinking about playing lacrosse (one of my favorite sports!) and I want to be able to see these things happen and their skill and knowledge bloom like flowers. And when I get older and have a career like my aunts and uncles do, things might change, I may not have the time, blah blah blah, excuses excuses.
But that's just what they are.
Excuses.

So.
From now on (or at least the next few years), I will go back home more often. I'm already planning something epic for this summer. But I don't want to ruin the surprise. We will talk about that when the time comes.

P.S. Renee left last week. It was good to see her. Our time together was shorter than expected, but we'll talk about that later.

Tata for now.